Showing posts with label motivation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label motivation. Show all posts

Tuesday, 14 February 2017

Rohn: 7 Personality Traits of a Great Leader

The qualities of skillful leadership 

Jim Rohn   

If you want to be a leader who attracts quality people, the key is to become a person of quality yourself. Leadership is the ability to attract someone to the gifts, skills and opportunities you offer as an owner, as a manager, as a parent. Jim Rohn calls leadership the great challenge of life.
What’s important in leadership is refining your skills. All great leaders keep working on themselves until they become effective. Here’s how:

1. Learn to be strong but not impolite.


It is an extra step you must take to become a powerful, capable leader with a wide range of reach. Some people mistake rudeness for strength. It's not even a good substitute.

2. Learn to be kind but not weak.

We must not mistake weakness for kindness. Kindness isn't weak. Kindness is a certain type of strength. We must be kind enough to tell someone the truth. We must be kind enough and considerate enough to lay it on the line. We must be kind enough to tell it like it is and not deal in delusion.

3. Learn to be bold but not a bully.

It takes boldness to win the day. To build your influence, you've got to walk in front of your group. You've got to be willing to take the first arrow, tackle the first problem, discover the first sign of trouble. Like the farmer, if you want any rewards at harvest time, you have got to be bold and face the weeds and the rain and the bugs straight on. You've got to seize the moment.

4. Learn to be humble but not timid.

You can't get to the high life by being timid. Some people mistake timidity for humility. But humility is a virtue; timidity is a disease. It's an affliction. It can be cured, but it is a problem. Humility is almost a God-like word—a sense of awe, a sense of wonder, an awareness of the human soul and spirit, an understanding that there is something unique about the human drama versus the rest of life. Humility is a grasp of the distance between us and the stars, yet having the feeling that we're part of the stars.

5. Learn to be proud but not arrogant.

It takes pride to build your ambitions. It takes pride in your community. It takes pride in a cause, in accomplishment. But the key to becoming a good leader is to be proud without being arrogant. Do you know the worst kind of arrogance? Arrogance from ignorance. It's intolerable. If someone is smart and arrogant, we can tolerate that. But if someone is ignorant and arrogant, that's just too much to take.

6. Learn to develop humor without folly.

In leadership, we learn that it's OK to be witty but not silly; fun but not foolish.

7. Learn to deal in realities.

Deal in truth. Save yourself the agony of delusion. Just accept life as it is—the whole drama of life. It's fascinating.
Life is unique. Leadership is unique. The skills that work well for one leader may not work at all for another. However, the fundamental skills of leadership can be adopted to work well for just about everyone: at work, in the community and at home.
http://www.success.com/article/rohn-7-personality-traits-of-a-great-leader

Wednesday, 8 February 2017

Learn to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

We must learn to say no to the things that don’t matter so we can say yes to the things we care about.

Q: I’m a people pleaser—I have trouble saying no. How can I change?

A: Learning to say no is the single most effective way to increase your focus and productivity. Saying no will help you reduce what I call low leverage activities (those that consume resources and drive results slowly) and invest more time and energy into high leverage activities, which are the key to achieving the right results faster. We must learn to say no to the things that don’t matter so we can say yes to the things we care about.

There are a lot of ways to say no and make people feel as if you still care. Sometimes it really means saying not now.

I teach clients that instead of something being a complete no, it can be no and instead. For example, if someone asks me to lunch to talk about something and I am unsure whether it is a high leverage activity, I will ask the person more questions. If I learn the information can be covered over email, I’ll suggest that. I am still staying no to his initial request, but I answered his question and freed up a few hours for myself to invest in other things.



Thursday, 2 February 2017

13 Underappreciated Traits You Absolutely Need to Succeed

Picture the most successful person you know. What is it about them that you admire the most? What characteristics do they have that you really respect? Is it their confidence? Their intelligence? Or maybe it’s their work ethic?
But what about the things you might not notice at first glance? Like an insatiable hunger, gratitude or patience? Often it’s the traits that fly under the radar that can have the biggest impact on your ability to achieve.
We asked members of the Young Entrepreneur Council which of these underappreciated traits they value the most. Because even though they’re not as “loud,” they’re absolutely necessary to succeed.

1. Mindfulness

It’s easy to get lost in the grind and miss out on many things in the demanding environment that comes with entrepreneurship. I deliberately and regularly make time to reflect on past successes and failures, which opens my mind up to different possibilities. There’s a lesson in every outcome in our lives and discovering them makes us grow.
—Turgay Birand, EditionGuard

2. Solid Speaking Skills

I was an active member of my high school debate team for all four years. The extracurricular helped me become more articulate, logical and overall a better public speaker. These skills have played a critical role in my development into the business leader I am today.

3. Insatiability





I’m a naturally insatiable person when it comes to learning and growth. This leads to being open to new ideas, asking questions and ingesting endless amounts of new content. All of this leads toward success, as one new piece of knowledge builds on another and sparks of curiosity create new valuable relationships. It also results in a constant drive to dissect and improve my business.
—Darrah Brustein, Network Under 40

4. Decisiveness

The most successful leaders recognize they do not have time to get all of the facts for the dozens of decisions they make each day. Instead, they just need to gather enough information to make sound decisions so the company can move forward. Some of those decisions will be wrong, but it’s better to learn from those mistakes and try again than to be immobilized by indecisiveness.
—Doug Bend, Bend Law Group, PC

5. Consistency

I think my biggest key to success—and the thing I tell others who are starting businesses—is to be consistent. Growing a business is hard, but you have to keep at it week after week and month after month. I’ve blogged almost every single week for the past seven years, and I truly attribute the fact that I’ve approached my business that way as one of the reasons for my success.
—Sean Ogle, Location Rebel

6. Coachability

Pretty much anyone can take feedback at a surface level, but actually evaluating criticism and learning from it is a rare trait. After all, feedback is incredibly personal and it can cause severe damage to your ego. Rather than nodding to harsh feedback, I learned from the best by really taking their advice to heart and separating my self-worth from my ability to have valuable learning experiences.
—Elle Kaplan, LexION Capital

7. Honesty

People appreciate my emphasis on honesty. It’s surprising really, given all the people who don’t focus on it, but honesty is still highly valued among customers who are seeking that authentic experience. Even if it means telling a customer “I can’t do something,” I'd rather be honest and let them know. They appreciate that and come back when I can help them.
—Drew Hendricks, Buttercup

8. Calmness

I have always been a very laid-back person (sometimes to a fault). In my business, I often find myself in the middle of stressful and complex deals. By staying calm, I’m able to see things more objectively and not allow the stress of the deal to force a bad decision.

9. Patience

I see people rush things all the time because they have that need for immediate results. But I’ve learned that slow and steady can win the race because patience often leads to better results. You are not pushing people or situations, but letting them occur naturally, which also helps me determine in advance if the moves are smart and whether I’ve covered all my bases.
—Andrew O’Connor, American Addiction Centers

10. Gratitude

There are many successful people who aren’t happy. My perspective is that gratitude is the thing that keeps you centered. Every day, I begin by writing down things I’m grateful for, and I make it a point to give gifts to people I feel grateful to. It makes them feel good, makes me feel good and keeps life centered.
—Adam Steele, The Magistrate

11. Ability to Read People

An underrated trait that I can easily attribute my success to is being able to read people. Having the ability to pick up on different people’s personalities can be extremely beneficial when interacting with them. Everyone has a different style of communicating and being able to notice that and adjust to fit their style has been key for my developing strong, long-lasting relationships.
—Bryanne Lawless, BLND Public Relations

12. Hunger and Humility

When I started my company, I was in debt. I had nothing and it made me hungry. I realized I had to go after a client that had money. This is what helped me build a multimillion-dollar success from very little capital. Being hungry and humble allows us to focus on what truly matters.
—Diego Orjuela, Cables & Sensors, LLC

13. Vulnerability

My whole product line started from me building my own community. I built that community on YouTube, where I’m authentic, real, vulnerable and available to my followers. I read comments, connect with them, tell them my problems and give them an honest review. The only reason I was able to launch my product line is because I had a community of people who really trust me.

Source 13-underappreciated-traits-you-absolutely-need-to-succeed

Tuesday, 24 January 2017

10 Things Successful People Never Do Again

We all make mistakes but the people who thrive from their mistakes are the successful ones.

Henry Cloud       

“Never go back.” What does that mean? From observations of successful people, clinical psychologist and author of Never Go Back: 10 Things You'll Never Do Again (Howard Books, June 2014), Dr. Henry Cloud has discovered certain “awakenings” that people have—in life and in business—that once they have them, they never go back to the old way of doing things. And when that happens, they are never the same. In short, they got it.
“Years ago, a bad business decision of mine led to an interesting discussion with my mentor,” Dr. Cloud says. “I had learned a valuable lesson the hard way, and he reassured me: ‘The good thing is once you learn that lesson, you never go back. You never do it again.’
“I wondered, what are the key awakenings that successful people go through that forever change how they do things, which propel them to succeed in business, relationships, and life? I began to study these awakenings, researching them over the years.”
Although life and business have many lessons to teach us, Dr. Cloud observed 10 “doorways” of learning that high performers go through, never to return again.
Successful people never again…   

1. Return to what hasn’t worked.

Whether a job, or a broken relationship that was ended for a good reason, we should never go back to the same thing, expecting different results, without something being different.

2. Do anything that requires them to be someone they are not.



In everything we do, we have to ask ourselves, “Why am I doing this? Am I suited for it? Does it fit me? Is it sustainable?” If the answer is no to any of these questions, you better have a very good reason to proceed.

3. Try to change another person.

When you realize that you cannot force someone into doing something, you give him or her freedom and allow them to experience the consequences. In doing so, you find your own freedom as well.

4. Believe they can please everyone.

Once you get that it truly is impossible to please everyone, you begin to live purposefully, trying to please the right people.

5. Choose short-term comfort over long-term benefit.

Once successful people know they want something that requires a painful, time-limited step, they do not mind the painful step because it gets them to a long-term benefit. Living out this principle is one of the most fundamental differences between successful and unsuccessful people, both personally and professionally.

6. Trust someone or something that appears flawless.

It’s natural for us to be drawn to things and people that appear "incredible." We love excellence and should always be looking for it. We should pursue people who are great at what they do, employees who are high performers, dates who are exceptional people, friends who have stellar character, and companies that excel. But when someone or something looks too good to be true, he, she, or it is. The world is imperfect. Period. No one and no thing is without flaw, and if they appear that way, hit pause.

7. Take their eyes off the big picture.

We function better emotionally and perform better in our lives when we can see the big picture. For successful people, no one event is ever the whole story. Winners remember that—each and every day.

8. Neglect to do due diligence.

No matter how good something looks on the outside, it is only by taking a deeper, diligent, and honest look that we will find out what we truly need to know: the reality that we owe ourselves.

9. Fail to ask why they are where they find themselves.

One of the biggest differences between successful people and others is that in love and in life, in relationships and in business, successful people always ask themselves, what part am I playing in this situation? Said another way, they do not see themselves only as victims, even when they are.

10. Forget that their inner life determines their outer success.

The good life sometimes has little to do with outside circumstances. We are happy and fulfilled mostly by who we are on the inside. Research validates that. And our internal lives largely contribute to producing many of our external circumstances.
And, the converse is true: people who are still trying to find success in various areas of life can almost always point to one or more of these patterns as a reason they are repeating the same mistakes.
Everyone makes mistakes…even the most successful people out there. But, what achievers do better than others is recognize the patterns that are causing those mistakes and never repeat them again. In short, they learn from pain—their own and the pain of others.
A good thing to remember is this: pain is unavoidable, but repeating the same pain twice, when we could choose to learn and do something different, is certainly avoidable. I like to say, “we don’t need new ways to fail….the old ones are working just fine!” Our task, in business and in life, is to observe what they are, and never go back to doing them again. 
10 Things Successful People Never Do Again

Monday, 16 January 2017

3 Science-Based Mind Hacks to Get Into Flow

Flow is an optimal state of consciousness where you feel your best and perform your best.

Have you ever lost an entire afternoon to an engaging conversation? Or become so involved in a work project that everything else was forgotten? Then you’ve experienced firsthand what is known as “flow state.”
The best definition for this psychological event I’ve ever heard is this: “[Flow is] an optimal state of consciousness where we feel our best and perform our best.”
When you are in this state, every action, each decision, leads effortlessly, fluidly, seamlessly to the next. It’s high-speed problem-solving; it’s being swept away by the river of ultimate performance.
Now, before you dismiss this as a New Age idea, consider the research. For more than 150 years, flow has been studied, picked apart and analyzed. It sits at the heart of almost every athletic championship, underpins major scientific breakthroughs and accounts for significant progress in the arts.
As Richard Branson says, “In two hours [in flow], I can accomplish tremendous things… It’s like there’s no challenge I can’t meet.”
How can we achieve this highly focused, productive, satisfying state of mind? In the 1970s, pioneering flow researcher Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi identified three critical areas for triggering flow:

Trigger 1: Clear Goals


Goals tell us where to put our attention, and what we focus on becomes our results.
The key to creating clear goals which trigger the flow state is breaking down larger overarching goals into smaller subgoals. Clarity is of the utmost importance for staying present in finding flow.
With clarity from goal setting, the mind doesn’t have to expend energy thinking about what to do next. It already knows. This tightened concentration heightens motivation. Action and awareness start to merge, and it is at this point that we are pulled even deeper into the now, into the flow state.

Trigger 2: Immediate Feedback

As a focusing mechanism, immediate feedback is something of an extension of clear goals.
The better, more accurate the feedback, the more clarity we receive. Again, it is this clarity that allows our minds to relax and enter the now state, the trigger for flow.
Imagine for a moment if you implemented this in your work right now. What would happen if you were to tighten feedback loops? If you asked for and received more regular input from others—imagine that instead of quarterly reviews, it became daily reviews?
Immediate feedback polishes clarity further. With the constant tweaking of your goals through feedback, you’ll quickly develop a habit response of dropping into the flow state.

Trigger 3: The Challenge/Skill Ratio

Have you ever been tasked with a project that you felt was too challenging? Then you’ve experienced fear swamping your system. The most important psychological trigger for flow is being able to match the difficulty of the task and your ability to perform it.
While we all want to strive to push ourselves to bigger, better things, there is a danger in pushing too hard.
Flow appears near the emotional midpoint between boredom and anxiety. That means the most productive you will ever be is when you are engaged and confident in the tasks you have been assigned.

The Good News About Flow

Flow is already preprogrammed into your brain. It’s part of your evolutionary design and is a built-in feature of being human.
Cultivating and practicing the triggers described above will allow you to spend more and more time each day in a flow state.
And once you achieve regular flow, you’ll notice an immediate increase in your ability to accomplish your goals. How? Because you’ll be more engaged in your work. You’ll discover connections that you didn’t realize existed before. You’ll be feeling and performing at your best.
And that alone is worth giving these triggers a try.

Source 3-science-based-mind-hacks-to-get-into-flow

Friday, 13 January 2017

The SUCCESS Best-Seller List: December 2016

The most popular books in business, entrepreneurship and personal development

Take a look at the top-selling personal development books of the past month, and you’ll see not all of them are new—that there are modern classics, like Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages, and all-time classics, like Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. But others, like Tim Ferriss’s Tools of Titans, are brand-new and already making waves in the self-improvement world.
For your journey to your best self, we continue our monthly list of the best-selling personal development books with the top 10 for December 2016:

1. Tools of Titans: The Tactics, Routines, and Habits of Billionaires, Icons, and World-Class Performers

By Tim Ferriss (December 2016; Houghton Mifflin; $27)
On his popular podcast, The Tim Ferriss Show, Ferriss has interviewed top performers of every type. In this ultimate self-help book, he distills and tests the key insights from elite athletes, adventurers, entrepreneurs, executives, creative thinkers, researchers and more to help readers learn to become healthy, wealthy and wise.

2. The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World

By Dalai Lama, Desmond Tutu and Douglas Carlton Abrams (September 2016; Avery Publishing Group; $26)
Two spiritual giants. Five days. One timeless question: How do we find joy in the face of life’s inevitable suffering? This book offers a rare opportunity as Archbishop Desmond Tutu and His Holiness the Dalai Lama spend a week exploring the Nature of True Joy and confront each of the Obstacles of Joy (fear, stress, anger, grief, illness, death). Then they offer the Eight Pillars of Joy, which provide the foundation for lasting happiness. This unique collaboration offers a reflection on real lives filled with pain and turmoil, in the midst of which they have been able to discover a level of peace, courage and joy to which we can all aspire in our own lives.

3. You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life

By Jen Sincero (2013; Running Press; $16)
This refreshingly entertaining how-to guide serves up 27 bite-sized chapters full of hilariously inspiring stories, sage advice and easy exercises, helping you to create a life you will love. Identify and change the self-sabotaging beliefs and behaviors that stop you from getting what you want—create a life you love and make some damn money already!

4. The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts

By Gary Chapman (2015; Northfield Publishing; $15.99)


Falling in love is easy. Staying in love—that’s the challenge! How can you keep your relationship fresh and growing amid the demands, conflicts and just plain boredom of everyday life? Whether your relationship is failing or flourishing, Dr. Gary Chapman’s proven approach to showing and receiving love is as practical as it is insightful. The 5 Love Languages includes a “his and hers” personal profile assessment. Updated to reflect the complexities of relationships today, the new edition reveals intrinsic truths and applies relevant and actionable wisdom.

5. Trump: The Art of the Deal

By Donald J. Trump and Tony Schwartz (2015; Ballantine Books; $16.99)
President-elect Donald J. Trump lays out his professional and personal worldview in this classic work, a firsthand account of the rise of America s foremost deal-maker. See Trump in action, how he runs his organization and life as he meets people, chats with family and friends, clashes with enemies and challenges conventional thinking. He isolates the common elements in his greatest accomplishments. Trump: The Art of the Deal is an unguarded look at an entrepreneur’s mind and a must-read for anyone interested in the man behind the spotlight.

6. The Total Money Makeover: Classic Edition: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness

By Dave Ramsey (2013; Thomas Nelson; $24.99)
America's trusted voice on money and business provides a surefire way to whip your finances into shape with the simplest, most straightforward game plan for completely making over your money habits.

7. Jump: Take the Leap of Faith to Achieve Your Life of Abundance

By Steve Harvey (December 2016; Amistad Press; $25.99)
On January 13, 2016, at the close of taping an episode of Family Feud, Steve Harvey spontaneously began to speak. Not knowing that the cameras were still rolling, the $100 million host offered his studio audience insights into his own happiness and success. His staff, also moved by Steve’s words, shared the riveting six-minute video on social media. The clip immediately went viral, with more than 58 million views worldwide. His message is simple: You need to jump like your life depends on it, because it does if you truly want a life of peace and abundance.

. StrengthsFinder 2.0

By Tom Rath (2007; Gallup Press; $29.99)
Do you do what you do best every day? Chances are you don’t. All too often, our natural talents go untapped. From the cradle to the cubicle, we devote more time to fixing our shortcomings than to developing our strengths. Although you can read this book in one sitting, you’ll use it as a reference for decades. The redesigned StrengthsFinder 2.0 companion website features a strengths community, a library of downloadable discussion guides and activities, a strengths screensaver and a program for creating display cards of your top five strength themes.

9. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life

By Mark Manson (September 2016; HarperOne; $24.99)
For decades we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. In his wildly popular blog, Mark Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is in a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach the lemons better. Once we embrace our fears, faults and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity and forgiveness we seek.

10. How to Win Friends and Influence People

By Dale Carnegie (1998 edition, originally published in 1936; Pocket Books; $16)
Go after the job you want and get it! Take the job you have and improve it! Take any situation you’re in and make it work for you! Since its release in 1936, How to Win Friends and Influence People has sold more than 15 million copies. As relevant as ever, Dale Carnegie’s principles endure and will help you achieve your maximum potential in the complex and competitive modern age. Learn the six ways to make people like you, the 12 ways to win people to your way of thinking and the nine ways to change people without arousing resentment.

SUCCESS analyzes a combination of sales data acquired from Nielsen BookScan—which gathers point-of-sale data from more than 16,000 locations across the U.S.—and from a variety of independently verified sources within the personal development industry. This list represents sales from Dec. 4, 2016, through Jan. 1, 2017.    


Monday, 9 January 2017

10 Resolutions That Will Make You Mentally Stronger


Turn 2017 in an opportunity to build your mental muscle.
When most people set out to become fitter in the New Year, they're thinking about physical fitness. In fact, getting in better physical shape tops the list of New Year's resolutions. According to a Nielson survey (link is external), 37% of people want to stay fit and healthy in the New Year, while 32% of people want to lose weight.
But sadly, most people will never achieve those goals. Statistically speaking, studies find only about 8% of people keep their New Year's resolution.
If more people focused on their mental fitness, however, they'd likely become more successful in achieving any goals they set for themselves—physical fitness or otherwise. After all, your body won't do what your mind doesn't tell it.
Building mental muscle is the key to self-discipline, delayed gratification, grit, and perseverance. And those are the skills you need to become the best physical and mental version of yourself.
Here are 10 New Year's Resolutions that will help you grow mentally stronger next year:

1. I will spend at least 15 minutes a day in quiet reflection.

A few minutes of quiet time gives you an opportunity to reflect on your progress and think about what you want to do better tomorrow. Schedule a few minutes every day to recharge your batteries with a little bit of solitude. It will help you gain clarity and renew your motivation to reach your goals.

2. I will do at least one tough thing every week.

Whether you sign up for a photography class or you join toastmasters, do something that challenges you to step outside your comfort zone. Face your fears head-on can shift the way you see yourself. Rather than assume you need to avoid hard things because you might fail or because you can't tolerate the stress, you'll chip away at your self-limiting beliefs.

3. I'll write in a gratitude journal.

Write down three things you're grateful for every day and you'll change the way you see the world. Studies have linked gratitude to a multitude of benefits, ranging from better sleep to reduced psychological distress. It only takes a few minutes each day, but it's an easy way to boost your mental strength.

4. I'll take better care of my physical health.

Your mind won't operate efficiently if you're not fueling it with sleep, exercise, and healthy food. But, don't make your goal to be thinner or to look good in a bathing suit. Aim for building a healthy body so you can enjoy a healthier, stronger mind.

5. I'm going to develop a kinder inner dialogue.

The conversations you have with yourself impact the way you behave and how you feel. Harsh self-criticism will only hold you back. Commit to talking to yourself the same way you'd speak to a trusted friend and you'll unlock potential you never knew existed.

6. I'm going to become more aware of my feelings.

Aside from happiness or anger, most adults aren't comfortable sharing their feelings. Many people are willing to say, "I've got butterflies in my stomach," or "There was a lump in my throat," because it feels less vulnerable than saying they feel sad or scared. But your emotions play a huge role in every decision you make.

Decide to become better connected to your feelings. Label your emotions and spend time thinking about how those emotions influence the way you think and the way you behave.

7. I'm going to create a timeline for my dream.

A lot of people say, "I'd like to write a book someday," or, "Someday, I'm going to launch my own business." But since 'someday' never appears on the calendar, it's unlikely you'll actually do it. Turn your dream into a goal by creating a realistic timeline for yourself. Even if you can't tackle it for another a year or two, start researching or learning more about your dream now.

8. I'll spend more time with friends and family.

It's easy to get so caught up in the day-to-day grind that you don't set aside time for friends and family. But, studies show spending time with loved ones is critical to your well-being. Make it a priority to spend time with the important people in your life.

9. I'll create a life that is in line with my values.

It's one thing to say you value giving back to the community or you value caring for the environment, living according to those values isn't always so easy. Evaluate where you devote your time and energy and see if you want to make any lifestyle shifts that would help ensure that your life is in line with your values. Living according to your values is an essential component to mastering your mental strength.

10. I'm going to give up one bad habit.

Letting go of a bad habit can help you work smarter, not harder. So rather than saying you're going to eat more vegetables, commit to giving up that bag of chips you eat at lunch every day. Giving up bad habits that rob you of mental strength, like feeling sorry for yourself, will ensure your healthy habits are much more effective.

Build Your Mental Muscle

Don't overwhelm yourself by tackling too many things at once. Start with one change you want to make. You can always start new goals any time of the year.

So maybe you'll decide to start a gratitude journal in January. Then, once you've turned that into a daily habit, commit to going to sleep 30 minutes earlier in February.
Remember, genuine self-improvement isn't about setting a goal on New Year's Eve and then declaring it a success or a failure two weeks later. Mental strength training (link is external) is about becoming a little better each day throughout the entire year.

Amy Morin What Mentally Strong People Don't Do

10 Resolutions That Will Make You Mentally Stronger


Sunday, 8 January 2017

Rohn: Better Is Something You Become

Your life will change when you do.

Jim Rohn
January 8, 2017
     
A wise and resilient old gentleman who used to dine every month in his club downtown—sitting at a long table covered with a white linen tablecloth and sporting silver candlesticks, and served by tuxedoed waiters—loved to regale companions with the fruits of his many years of experience. After dessert and coffee were served, he would push back from the table and light an enormous imported cigar.
“This cigar is the only indulgence of an old man,” he would say with a chuckle as he struck the wooden match against his thumbnail, and then he’d launch into one of his stories.
They usually began with a question, such as, “Did I ever tell you about the time when I was setting up factories for the Giant XYZ Corporation in the backwoods of Georgia and was compelled to teach them a little lesson in business and good manners?”
Although the stories always started out the same, no two stories were ever alike, and there would always be a wealth of wisdom through example, a veritable mother lode of remarkable instruction. And this man who was so old, so wise and so flexible had one ironclad rule for dealing with other people. This rule involved learning and growing from every experience, so the negative ones need never happen again.
He said, “If a man fools me once, I think, That’s not nice, and I remember it. If the same man fools me a second time, I think, Shame on you. If the same fellow tricks me a third time, well, I have been warned and should have changed my ways and didn’t, so I think, Shame on me.”
If you’re not changing your responses to the situations and circumstances that make up your life, you’re not being flexible, and you’re throwing away the greatest asset as an individual human being. None of us can completely control external events, but we can always control and adapt our responses. None of us can know which cards fate is going to deal out, but we can always control how we play them.

 None of us can completely control external events, but we can always control and adapt our responses.

I once did a seminar for a group of oil company executives during their convention in Honolulu. While we were sitting around the conference table, one of them asked, “Mr. Rohn, you know some important people around the world. What do you think the next 10 years are going to be like?” I said, “Gentlemen, I do know the right people. I can tell you.” So they all listened very carefully. I said, “Gentlemen, based on the people I know and from the best of my own experience, I’ve concluded that in the coming 10 years, things are going to be about like they’ve always been.”
I said that to make a point, but also because it’s accurate. Things are going to be about like they’ve always been. The tide comes in, and then what? It goes out. That’s been the case for 6,000 years of recorded history, and probably long before that, so it’s not likely to change.
It gets light and then what? It turns dark. For 6,000 years. We are not to be startled by that now. If the sun goes down and someone says, “What happened?” he must have just gotten here, I guess. It always goes down about this time of day.
In rotation, the next season after fall is winter. And pray tell, how often does winter follow fall? Every time, without fail, for 6,000 years that we know of. Of course, some winters are long and some are short, some are difficult and some are easy, but they always come right after fall. That isn’t going to change.
Sometimes you can figure it out, sometimes there’s no way to figure it out. Sometimes it goes well, sometimes it gets in a knot. Sometimes it sails along, sometimes it goes in reverse. That’s not going to change. That last 6,000 years read like this: opportunity mixed with difficulty. It isn’t going to change.
Someone says, “Well, then, how will my life change?” And the answer is: When you change.
Whether I’m talking to high school kids or business executives, my message is always the same. The only way it gets better for you is when you get better. Better is not something you wish for; better is something you become.
Source Rohn: Better Is Something You Become

Wednesday, 4 January 2017

5 Reasons You Aren’t Successful

Sometimes we’re our own worst enemy. It’s time to get out of the way.

Even the most successful people in the world have failed to achieve success at some point, when failure reared its ugly head and knocked them down. The sting from failure can stick around for quite some time—longer than you might imagine. You’ve probably felt it, too. 
     But what caused them and you to fail? Here are five reasons you’re not achieving success:

1. You don’t know what success looks like.

The most common reason we fail to achieve success is because we haven’t defined what success looks like to us. Maybe you’re chasing the latest fad or you’ve watched one too many movies, and that’s where your idea of success stems from.
When we chase other people’s visions of success, we’re bound to fail. We can’t be successful on others’ terms because then it’s like we’re living someone else’s life—and that will never bring us happiness. Instead, to achieve success, lay out what it looks like to you. Define success on your terms and chase it.

2. You don’t know what you’re passionate about.


You bounce from one great idea to the next, constantly chasing what sounds good in the moment. Oprah Winfrey once said, “Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you.” She realized people won’t go after what they’re not passionate about, at least not for long.
Examine your life. Find what brings you joy, what piques your interest and what you’re passionate about. When you do, success begins to appear. 
 

3. You don’t want to put in the work.

You’ve heard about Malcolm Gladwell and his 10,000-hour rule. He studied and discovered the most successful people are the ones who have put in the hard work. They dive into their craft and study. And they worked and worked some more.
You can’t expect success to come to you just because you want it to. You have to work hard. Only then will you find true success.

4. You don’t surround yourself with the right people.

Jim Rohn has a famous saying: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
We have to surround ourselves with others who are passionate about developing themselves and becoming successful. When you begin to congregate with those who have a success mindset, great things begin to happen. You begin to form new relationships with people who can guide you to the next step. From there, they can introduce you to other successful people. And then you begin to build a network of successful people as your support system.

5. You don’t have a positive mindset.

Everything looks down and out. You don’t see how anyone could be a success. This negative mindset needs to shift to a positive mindset if you want your chances of achieving success to improve.
You can’t find success if you’re stuck in negativity. You won’t see any positives in the world and it will hold you back. As you began to shift your mindset from one of negativity to one of abundance, you begin to see a whole new world.
If you’re struggling to achieve success, look at the five reasons above and begin working on the areas where you’re weakest. 

Source: 5 Reasons You Aren’t Successful


Monday, 2 January 2017

14 Things Ridiculously Successful People Do Every Day

Having close access to ultra-successful people can yield some pretty incredible information about who they really are, what makes them tick, and, most importantly, what makes them so successful and productive.

“Whenever you see a successful person, you only see the public glories, never the private sacrifices to reach them.” –Vaibhav Shah

Kevin Kruse is one such person. He recently interviewed over 200 ultra-successful people, including 7 billionaires, 13 Olympians, and a host of accomplished entrepreneurs. One of his most revealing sources of information came from their answers to a simple open-ended question:

In analyzing their responses, Kruse coded the answers to yield some fascinating suggestions. What follows are some of my favorites from Kevin’s findings.

1. They focus on minutes, not hours. 

Most people default to hour and half-hour blocks on their calendar; highly successful people know that there are 1,440 minutes in every day and that there is nothing more valuable than time. Money can be lost and made again, but time spent can never be reclaimed. As legendary Olympic gymnast Shannon Miller told Kevin, “To this day, I keep a schedule that is almost minute by minute.” You must master your minutes to master your life.

2. They focus on only one thing. 

Ultra-productive people know what their “Most Important Task” is and work on it for one to two hours each morning, without interruptions. What task will have the biggest impact on reaching your goals? What accomplishment will get you promoted at work? That’s what you should dedicate your mornings to every day.

3. They don’t use to-do lists. 

Throw away your to-do list; instead schedule everything on your calendar. It turns out that only 41 percent of items on to-do lists ever get done. All those undone items lead to stress and insomnia because of the Zeigarnik effect, which, in essence, means that uncompleted tasks will stay on your mind until you finish them. Highly productive people put everything on their calendar and then work and live by that calendar.

4. They beat procrastination with time travel. 

Your future self can’t be trusted. That’s because we are time inconsistent. We buy veggies today because we think we’ll eat healthy salads all week; then we throw out green rotting mush in the future. Successful people figure out what they can do now to make certain their future selves will do the right thing. Anticipate how you will self-sabotage in the future, and come up with a solution today to defeat your future self.

5. They make it home for dinner. 

Kevin first learned this one from Intel’s Andy Grove, who said, “There is always more to be done, more that should be done, always more than can be done.” Highly successful people know what they value in life. Yes, work, but also what else they value. There is no right answer, but for many, these other values include family time, exercise, and giving back. They consciously allocate their 1,440 minutes a day to each area they value (i.e., they put them on their calendar), and then they stick to that schedule.

6. They use a notebook. 

Richard Branson has said on more than one occasion that he wouldn’t have been able to build Virgin without a simple notebook, which he takes with him wherever he goes. In one interview, Greek shipping magnate Aristotle Onassis said, “Always carry a notebook. Write everything down... That is a million dollar lesson they don’t teach you in business school!” Ultra-productive people free their minds by writing everything down as the thoughts come to them.

7. They process e-mails only a few times a day. 

Ultra-productive people don’t “check” their e-mail throughout the day. They don’t respond to each vibration or ding to see who has intruded into their inbox. Instead, like everything else, they schedule time to process their e-mails quickly and efficiently. For some, that’s only once a day; for others, it’s morning, noon, and night.

8. They avoid meetings at all costs. 

When Kevin asked Mark Cuban to give his best productivity advice, he quickly responded, “Never take meetings unless someone is writing a check.” Meetings are notorious time killers. They start late, have the wrong people in them, meander around their topics, and run long. You should get out of meetings whenever you can and hold fewer of them yourself. If you do run a meeting, keep it short and to the point.

9. They say “no” to almost everything. 

Billionaire Warren Buffet once said, “The difference between successful people and very successful people is that very successful people say ‘no’ to almost everything.” And James Altucher colorfully gave Kevin this tip: “If something is not a ‘Hell Yeah!’ then it’s a no.” Remember, you only have 1,440 minutes in a day. Don’t give them away easily.

10. They follow the 80/20 rule. 

Known as the Pareto Principle, in most cases, 80 percent of results come from only 20 percent of activities. Ultra-productive people know which activities drive the greatest results. Focus on those and ignore the rest.

11. They delegate almost everything. 

Ultra-productive people don’t ask, “How can I do this task?” Instead, they ask, “How can this task get done?” They take the I out of it as much as possible. Ultra-productive people don’t have control issues, and they are not micro-managers. In many cases, good enough is, well, good enough.

12. They touch things only once. 

How many times have you opened a piece of regular mail -- a bill perhaps -- and then put it down, only to deal with it again later? How often do you read an e-mail and then close it and leave it in your inbox to deal with later? Highly successful people try to “touch it once.” If it takes less than five or ten minutes -- whatever it is -- they deal with it right then and there. It reduces stress, since it won’t be in the back of their minds, and it is more efficient, since they won’t have to re-read or re-evaluate the item again in the future.

13. They practice a consistent morning routine. 

Kevin’s single greatest surprise while interviewing over 200 highly successful people was how many of them wanted to share their morning ritual with him. While he heard about a wide variety of habits, most nurtured their bodies in the morning with water, a healthy breakfast, and light exercise, and they nurtured their minds with meditation or prayer, inspirational reading, or journaling.

14. Energy is everything. 

You can’t make more minutes in the day, but you can increase your energy to increase your attention, focus, and productivity. Highly successful people don’t skip meals, sleep, or breaks in the pursuit of more, more, more. Instead, they view food as fuel, sleep as recovery, and breaks as opportunities to recharge in order to get even more done.

Bringing It All Together

You might not be an entrepreneur, an Olympian, or a billionaire (or even want to be), but their secrets just might help you to get more done in less time and assist you to stop feeling so overworked and overwhelmed.
A version of this article appeared on TalentSmart.

Travis Bradberry

Co-author of Emotional Intelligence 2.0 and President at TalentSmart
Award-winning co-author of the best-selling book, Emotional Intelligence 2.0, and the co-founder of TalentSmart -- a consultancy that serves more than 75 percent of Fortune 500 companies and is a leading provider of emotional intelligence tests, training and certification.
His bestselling books have been translated into 25 languages and are available in more than 150 countries. Bradberry has written for, or been covered by, Newsweek, BusinessWeek, Fortune, USA Today, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post and the Harvard Business Review.

Source

Friday, 30 December 2016

Certainty in Uncertain Times - Tony Robbins

Certainty in Uncertain Times - Tony Robbins

A new city. A new job. The loss of a loved one. The loss of a dream.
Change is a part of life. Sometimes it’s positive, and other times less so. But regardless of what form it comes in, you have a choice: you can either ride the wave of change, or let it crash upon you as you struggle to remain afloat.
Sure, it’s easy to adopt a laissez faire attitude when turbulence comes your way. It’s the path of least resistance to shrug your shoulders, step back and watch as the events unfold and take their own course. But while that certainly requires less effort, it also disempowers you and precludes you from taking control over your own life.
The secret to handling change is to focus on progress. If you can make progress on a regular basis, then you feel alive. Now, you may be thinking that this is easier said than done. When you are lost, or trapped in an emotional fog, it’s hard to even make sense of what is happening, let alone understand what steps to take to move yourself forward. But by following these mandates, you can bring a sense of structure and certainty to an otherwise chaotic time, and start building something new, and perhaps even better.
MANDATE 1: CREATE A VISION
Create a vision for what it is that you truly want. If you find yourself unemployed, what does your ideal career look like? If you recently relocated to a new city, what do you want your life to look like there? If you and your partner are having trouble, what does your dream relationship with him or her look like?
The vision must excite you. It has to be compelling. It has to pull you. It should not be something that you have to push yourself toward, it should be something that you desire more than anything else so that it moves you emotionally. Envision this goal, see how it makes you feel, and then dive in.

MANDATE 2: MAKE THE RESOLUTION

Now it’s time to declare: “Okay, I am not going to just sit here and hope everything will be okay. I am going to take control of this situation.” Cut off any other possibility. If this is what you want, then burn the boats. Make the resolution that you will find a way to make things work and mentally put yourself on the path towards achieving the vision you just set forth.

MANDATE 3: FIND YOUR REASONS

Now that you have your vision, and you have dedicated yourself on a fundamental level to reaching this goal, you need to find your reasons – your purpose for wanting to achieve this result.
This is one of the most important components to making progress because without it, you will lose your emotional drive. You will inevitably face hurdles, challenges and obstacles along your journey, but the reasons will help push you through. When the stress and pressure come, your reasons will propel you along and you won’t let the fear or negative talk take over.
Your reasons can be framed in a positive or a negative manner – “If I don’t do this, this is what it will cost me,” or “If I do this, then this is what I can gain in my life.” What matters most is that your reasons resonate deeply within you. They are not superficial, but rather, stem from a powerful purpose that carries a profound emotional weight.
Just remember, when you feel stuck or lost, reasons come first, answers come second. Find the meaning behind achieving your goal, and allow that to help you get on target when things get rough.

MANDATE 4: MAKE IT PART OF EVERY DAY

Think back to something you wanted more than anything, something you were so hungry for that you felt a deep emotional need for it, something that you were intensely clear about it, and thought about every single day. You just didn’t know how to make it happen. Then suddenly, you attracted the right situation or the right people, and everything just came together.
Why did that happen? Is it the Law of Attraction? Not exactly.
There’s a part of your brain called the RAS – reticular activating system – and it determines what you notice in the world. When you set a goal, become extraordinarily clear on it, and have strong enough reasons behind your intent, you trigger the RAS. Your brain then becomes incredibly acute at noticing anything that comes into your world that could help you move forward.
Invest yourself fully in your vision. Make it a key part of your focus every single day. Then start to take note of what pops up in your life. The opportunities and key insights that arise may just surprise you.
MANDATE 5: RAISE YOUR STANDARDS
Ultimately, if you want to create real change in your life, you have to raise your standards.
How many years ago did you come up with what you could or couldn’t do in your life? Take a look at any area in your life where you have a limitation and ask yourself when you decided to accept that. For many of us, it’s these self-imposed limitations that prevent us from making any real progress in our lives. We have convinced ourselves that our status quo is exactly what we deserve, and we in turn, base our identities around that – wherever people have their identity attached to, they live.
If you want to create a new life for yourself, then you have to raise your standards. You have to let go of the limiting beliefs that keep you locked in complacency. Make progress a “must” for you. Refuse to settle for anything less. This will take practice, it’s not something that happens overnight. But the more often you adopt the thoughts, behaviors and rituals of a new identity, the more powerful your brain will become at finding ways to bring you there.

MANDATE 6: ADOPT RITUALS

You have to back up your standards by what makes those standards real – rituals. Rituals are little things that you do each day that eventually build up so much momentum that it becomes a clear path to your vision.
If you are unhappy with your status quo, and feel that creating the life you desire is just a massive challenge, then break it down to bite-sized steps. Condition your body and emotions with a few small rituals. Maybe that means going for a short run in the morning. Or taking the time to make a healthy breakfast. Maybe it means incorporating incantations into your day. Or catching up with one good friend every week. It could even be doing something kind for someone else once a day.
Rituals are where the power is. They define us. They help us put our standards into action. Remember, when challenging periods come our way, we have the choice – to relinquish control, or to take action.
Creating the life you want is not an overnight event. It’s in the little things. It’s having a vision. It’s making it compelling. It’s seeing it and feeling it with absolute emotion. It’s caring about other people. It’s calling to say “I love you” for no reason. It’s about taking every opportunity to connect. To be playful. To honor and cherish your loved ones.
Change, no matter how devastating, does not have to define your life. You get to make that decision. And if you adhere to these mandates, then no matter how lost you may feel, you will be able to start designing the life you want, and living the life you deserve.




Team Tony
Team Tony cultivates, curates and shares Tony Robbins’ stories and core principles, to help others achieve an extraordinary life.


Source Certainty in Uncertain Times - Tony Robbins

Wednesday, 28 December 2016

To Achieve Something Outrageously Extraordinary Requires Extreme Effort

To Achieve Something Outrageously Extraordinary Requires Extreme Effort

It’s your decision to be amazing. It’s an attitude. It’s how you live your life.   

December 28, 2016   
    
We aren’t doing enough. Sometimes not even the bare minimum.
But it’s worse than that. This lack of effort is poor, lazy behavior. In every sense of the words.
I’m not even sure how we got to this point, but here is what I do know:
  • We talk ourselves out of action before we even get started.
  • We spend time, mental energy and emotion trying to look good rather than getting results.
  • We debate the plan rather than working on it.
  • We make excuses for our mediocrity.
If we want to be successful, it takes doing more. A lot more. To achieve something outrageously extraordinary requires extreme effort.

Effort is the great equalizer.
Seth Godin says ever so brilliantly the following about effort: “People really want to believe effort is a myth…. I think we’ve been tricked by the veneer of lucky people on the top of the heap. We see the folks who manage to skate by, or who get so much more than we think they deserve, and it’s easy to forget that these guys are the exceptions…. For everyone else, effort is directly related to success…. And that’s the key to the paradox of effort: While luck may be more appealing than effort, you don’t get to choose luck. Effort, on the other hand, is totally available, all the time.
It’s inescapable. Effort makes the difference.
Effort is more than “If you pay me more, I’ll work harder.” It’s about not cheating yourself out of your own potential.
Think about that for a minute. Does anyone else really care if you are only putting in a half-ass effort?
No! You know deep down you are cheating yourself. And you are the only one who is really hurt by your actions.

No one cares about you like you. The least you can do for yourself is to put in the effort to give your dreams the chance to come true.
Think about what you want out of life right now. Perhaps you want:
  • More self-assurance about your financial future;
  • A better relationship with your spouse and children;
  • A happier and/or more fulfilling lifestyle.
Are you willing to put in the effort to make these a reality? Not brains or money or manipulation. EFFORT!
If all that seems too overwhelming, if your dreams and goals seem too far off, let me offer the simplest of insights: Effort is simply you taking the next step. Again and again and again.
When you look closely at how ordinary people achieve amazing things, you begin to see it for what it is: one foot in front of the other. That’s all. A step is infinitely easier than a journey.
It’s your decision to be amazing. It’s a commitment to take the next step. It’s an attitude. It’s how you live your life. Relentlessly moving forward.
The world is full of good people doing good things in good ways. What will change the world is you putting in enough effort to do great things. One step at a time.
Be edgy. Put in extreme effort:

1. Avoid the need to blame others for anything.

Mean, small-minded people know they suck. That’s why they are so cranky and eager to point out others’ mistakes. They hope that by causing others to feel inadequate, everyone will forget about how woefully off the mark their own performance is. Don’t blame anyone, for any reason, ever. It’s a bad habit.

2. Stop working on the things that just don’t matter.

Not everything needs to be done in place of sleep. If you work for a boss, then you owe them solid time. You can’t cut that out. You can, however, cut out TV time, meetings and anything else that gets in the way of achieving your goals. Replace entertainment with activity toward your goal.

3. Refuse to let yourself wallow in self-doubt. You’re alive to succeed.

Stop comparing your current problems to your last 18 failures. They are not the same. You are not the same. Here’s something to remember: Your entire life has been a training ground for you to capture your destiny right now. Why would you doubt that? Stop whining. Go conquer.

4. Ask yourself, What can I do better next time? And then do it next time.

If you spend a decade or two earnestly trying to be better, that’s exactly what will happen. The next best thing to doing something amazing is not doing something stupid. So learn from your mistakes and use the lessons to dominate.

5. Proactively take time to do things that fuel your passion (for example, exercise).

Living in the moment requires you to live at peak performance. A huge part of mental fitness is physical fitness. So go fight someone. Or go running if fighting seems a bit extreme. Physical activity accelerates mental motivation.

6. Apologize to yourself and those around you for having a bad attitude.

Do this once or twice, and you’ll snap out of your funk pretty fast. When you start genuinely apologizing for being a bad influence on those around you, you learn to stop whining and start winning.

Excerpted with permission from EDGY Conversations: How Ordinary People Achieve Outrageous Success by Dan Waldschmidt

Source To Achieve Something Outrageously Extraordinary Requires Extreme Effort


Thursday, 15 December 2016

Wednesday, 14 December 2016

10 Things Successful People Never Do Again

10 Things Successful People Never Do Again

We all make mistakes but the people who thrive from their mistakes are the successful ones.




“Never go back.” What does that mean? From observations of successful people, clinical psychologist and author of Never Go Back: 10 Things You'll Never Do Again (Howard Books, June 2014), Dr. Henry Cloud has discovered certain “awakenings” that people have—in life and in business—that once they have them, they never go back to the old way of doing things. And when that happens, they are never the same. In short, they got it.

“Years ago, a bad business decision of mine led to an interesting discussion with my mentor,” Dr. Cloud says. “I had learned a valuable lesson the hard way, and he reassured me: ‘The good thing is once you learn that lesson, you never go back. You never do it again.’
“I wondered, what are the key awakenings that successful people go through that forever change how they do things, which propel them to succeed in business, relationships, and life? I began to study these awakenings, researching them over the years.”
Although life and business have many lessons to teach us, Dr. Cloud observed 10 “doorways” of learning that high performers go through, never to return again.
Successful people never again…

1. Return to what hasn’t worked.

Whether a job, or a broken relationship that was ended for a good reason, we should never go back to the same thing, expecting different results, without something being different.

2. Do anything that requires them to be someone they are not.

In everything we do, we have to ask ourselves, “Why am I doing this? Am I suited for it? Does it fit me? Is it sustainable?” If the answer is no to any of these questions, you better have a very good reason to proceed.

3. Try to change another person.

When you realize that you cannot force someone into doing something, you give him or her freedom and allow them to experience the consequences. In doing so, you find your own freedom as well.

4. Believe they can please everyone.

Once you get that it truly is impossible to please everyone, you begin to live purposefully, trying to please the right people.

5. Choose short-term comfort over long-term benefit.

Once successful people know they want something that requires a painful, time-limited step, they do not mind the painful step because it gets them to a long-term benefit. Living out this principle is one of the most fundamental differences between successful and unsuccessful people, both personally and professionally.

6. Trust someone or something that appears flawless.

It’s natural for us to be drawn to things and people that appear "incredible." We love excellence and should always be looking for it. We should pursue people who are great at what they do, employees who are high performers, dates who are exceptional people, friends who have stellar character, and companies that excel. But when someone or something looks too good to be true, he, she, or it is. The world is imperfect. Period. No one and no thing is without flaw, and if they appear that way, hit pause.

7. Take their eyes off the big picture.

We function better emotionally and perform better in our lives when we can see the big picture. For successful people, no one event is ever the whole story. Winners remember that—each and every day.

8. Neglect to do due diligence.

No matter how good something looks on the outside, it is only by taking a deeper, diligent, and honest look that we will find out what we truly need to know: the reality that we owe ourselves.

9. Fail to ask why they are where they find themselves.

One of the biggest differences between successful people and others is that in love and in life, in relationships and in business, successful people always ask themselves, what part am I playing in this situation? Said another way, they do not see themselves only as victims, even when they are.

10. Forget that their inner life determines their outer success.

The good life sometimes has little to do with outside circumstances. We are happy and fulfilled mostly by who we are on the inside. Research validates that. And our internal lives largely contribute to producing many of our external circumstances.
And, the converse is true: people who are still trying to find success in various areas of life can almost always point to one or more of these patterns as a reason they are repeating the same mistakes.
Everyone makes mistakes…even the most successful people out there. But, what achievers do better than others is recognize the patterns that are causing those mistakes and never repeat them again. In short, they learn from pain—their own and the pain of others.
A good thing to remember is this: pain is unavoidable, but repeating the same pain twice, when we could choose to learn and do something different, is certainly avoidable. I like to say, “we don’t need new ways to fail….the old ones are working just fine!” Our task, in business and in life, is to observe what they are, and never go back to doing them again.

Source 10-things-successful-people-never-do-again